Sumbitch Cookies


How many of you are “How I Met Your Mother” fans?  I love this show and I am super sad that it is over.  I recently went through all of the seasons on Netflix, from start to finish.  Towards the end of the series, Ted finally met his wife, Tracy.  Tracy and Lily were on the train together and Tracy offered Lily some cookies as she helped her cope with Marshall’s big news.  Tracy had the BEST idea for cookies!!  SUMBITCH cookies!


These cookies looked so good in the show, I decided to make some of my own.  I thought long and hard of what I wanted this cookie to taste like.  There were 3 main ingredients that I had to use: chocolate chips, caramel and peanut butter.  I mean, where could you go wrong with that?  Sounds amazing, right??  After a lot of consideration of the base of the cookie, I decided to go with a sugar-like cookie instead of a peanut butter cookie.  Maybe I will try another recipe and make it with a peanut butter cookie in the future to see which one I like better.  I used chocolate chips, peanut butter chips, and caramel pieces to make the most delicious cookies. Sumbitch, these cookies are GOOD!


I made two batches of these cookies.  One batch had the caramel pieces (not Charlie friendly) and one batch did not (Charlie friendly).  I have made vegan caramel, but I didn’t think that much ahead on this one.  Next time, perhaps I will make vegan caramel and put that in here.  But for this time, I just used store bought caramel balls.  I called the cookies without the caramel “not so bitchy” cookies.  The not so bitchy cookies were more plump than the sumbitch cookies too.



~ 1 1/2 cups shortening

~ 1 1/4 cups packed light brown sugar

~ 1 1/4 cups granulated sugar

~ 4 Tablespoons milk (I used soy milk)

~ 2 eggs

~ 3 1/2 cups flour

~ 2 teaspoons salt

~ 1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda

~ 1 cup chocolate chips (I used semi sweet)

~ 1 cup peanut butter chips

~ 1 cup caramel pieces (Kraft makes them, they are little balls of caramel for baking found in the baking isle)



  1.  Preheat oven to 375 degrees.  In a stand mixer, or with an electric mixer, beat together the shortening and sugars until light and fluffy.
  2. Mix in eggs, one at a time.
  3. Beat in milk and vanilla.
  4. In another bowl, sift together flour, salt and baking soda.
  5. In small batches, add the flour mixture in with the shortening mixture until incorporated.  Do not over mix.  You will get a tougher cookie if you over mix the dough.
  6. Fold in chocolate chips, peanut butter chips and caramel pieces.
  7. On an uncreased baking sheet, drop a tablespoon of the dough onto the sheet about two inches apart from each other so they do not bake into each other.
  8. Bake 10-12 minutes (depending on your oven temperature) until light brown around the edges.
  9. Let cool a few minutes on the baking sheet and then transfer to a wire rack to cool completely.

Makes about 4 dozen cookies




Trust me….you won’t be able to stop eating these cookies!




Stay Sweet~


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